…I am not sure if I should cry or get angry! Just one of those moods. I can’t wait for spring break to get here, get away from Stockton for a while. Enjoy some me time, as well as some time with the boyfriend! This should turn out to be a pretty awesome spring break…just got to get there first! :p

Appearance

• I have/had piercings besides the ears.
• I want piercings besides the ears.
• I have a scar.
• I tan easily.
• I wish my hair was a different color.
• I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
• I have/want a tattoo.
• I can be self-conscious about my appearance.
• I have/had braces
• I have more than two piercings. 

Embarrassment

• Disney movies still make me cry 
• I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
• I’ve glued my hand to something.
• I’ve laughed until some kind of beverage came out of my nose
• I’ve had my pants rip in public.
• I’ve touched something sharp/hot/etc to see if it would hurt.

Health

• I’ve gotten stitches.
• I’ve broken or dislocated a bone.
• I’ve had my tonsils removed.
• I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
• I’ve had chicken pox

Travel

• I’ve been to Florida.
• Driven/ridden over 200 kilometres in one day.
• I’ve been on a plane
• I’ve been to California.
• I’ve been to Asia.
• I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
• I’ve been to Vanuatu or the Mystery Islands.
• I’ve been to the Caribbean.
• I’ve been to Europe.

Experiences

• I’ve gotten lost in my city.
• I’ve seen a shooting star.
• I’ve wished on a shooting star.
• I’ve seen a meteor shower.

• I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
• I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
• I’ve slapped someone.
• I’ve kissed someone underwater.
• I’ve chugged something.
• I’ve crashed a car.
• I’ve been skiing.
• I’ve auditioned for something.
• I’ve been on stage
• I’ve been in a musical.
• I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
• I’ve sat on a rooftop at night.
• I’ve pranked someone.
• I’ve ridden in a taxi.

Honesty / Crime

• I’ve been threatened to be arrested.
• I’ve broken a law.
• I’ve done something I promised someone I wouldn’t.
• I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
• I’ve snuck out.  
• I’ve lied about my whereabouts.
• I’ve cheated while playing a game.
• I’ve been in a fist fight.

Death

• I’m afraid of dying.
• I hate funerals.
• I’ve seen someone/something die.
• Someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide.
• I have attempted suicide.
• I’ve thought about suicide before.
• I’ve written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism

• I own over 5 rap CD’s.
• I’m obsessed with anime/manga.
• I collected comic books.
• I own a lot of makeup.
• I own something from Pac Sun.
• I own something from The Gap.
• I own something I got on E-Bay.
• I own something from Abercrombie.
• I thrive on compliments.
• I thrive on hate.

Random

• I can sing low key.
• I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
• I open up to others easily.
• I watch the news occasionally or always.
• I don’t like to kill bugs.
• I sing in the shower
• I’m a morning person.
• I’m a sports fanatic.
• I twirl my hair.
• I care about grammar.
• I love to spam friends.
• I’ve copied more than 30 CD’s in a day.
• I bake well.
• My favourite colour is either white, yellow, pink, blue, red, black, purple, or orange.
• I would wear pajamas to school.
• I like Martha Stewart.
• I laugh at my own jokes.
• I eat fast food weekly.
• I’ve not turned something in and still got an A in a certain class.
• I can’t sleep if there’s a spider in the room.
• I’m really ticklish.
• I like white chocolate.
• I bite/used to bite my nails.
• I’m good at remembering names.
• I’m good at remembering dates.
• I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

People

• ..used to ask if I was anorexic/bulimic.
• ..called me fat.
• ..have said I’m skinny.
• ..have said I’m ugly.
• ..have said I’m pretty.
• ..have spread rumors about me.
• ..force me to eat.
• ..say I eat too much.
• ..say I eat too little.

Eating

• I’ve lost weight
• I’ve gained weight.
• I’m at my thinnest.
• I’m at my biggest.
• I’ve lost weight and kept it off.
• I’ve lost weight, but gained it back.
• My weight affects my mood.
• I diet

• I’m vegan/vegetarian.
• I exercise.
• I’ve fainted from exhaustion.

Family

• I’ve sworn at my parents.
• I’ve planned to run away from home before.
• I’ve run away from home.
• I have a sibling less than one year old.
• I want kids in the future.
• I’ve had kids.
• I’ve lost a child.

Relationships

• I’m engaged.
• I’m married.
• I’m single. 
• I’ve gone on a blind date.
• I have/had a friend with benefits.
• I miss someone right now.
• I have a fear of abandonment.
• I’ve gotten divorced.
• I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back probably.
• Someone has/had feelings for me when I didn’t have them back.
• I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
• I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.

• I’m a cuddler.
• I’ve been kissed in the rain.
• I’ve hugged a stranger.
• I’ve kissed a stranger.

Bad times

• I regularly drink.
• I can’t swallow pills
• I’ve been diagnosed with depression at some point
• I can swallow numerous pills at a time without difficulty
• I have/had anxiety problems.
• I shut others out when I’m upset.
• I don’t have anyone to talk to when I’m upset about something personal.
•  have taken/take anti-depressants.
• I’ve slept an entire day before.
• I’ve plotted revenge.

…I never knew so much could change in such a short time. I can honestly say, I am happier now that I have been in a really long time. For once, almost everything in my life is going well (knock on wood!) and I don’t think about the bad in my life. I have learned to embrace the good in my life and enjoy it!

I don’t think I am going to be able to sleep tonight…I am feeling to many emotions at once, and too much going through my head. Excited, nervous, stressed! :p Biochemistry is going to kill me, but hopefully tomorrow night should be fun! :D But, I am still super nervous. 

Goodnight tumblr

What a range of emotions I am feeling at this moment in time? Who knew you could feel so many things at once!

I guess it’s easier for me to push people away, than to admit that something is bothering me. It’s easier for me to put my guard up and try to handle the situation at hand on my own. For the life of me, I still can’t understand why I feel this way all the time. But apparently I am pushing away the people that mean the most to me, and I don’t know how to go about getting them back. 

I just need to stop expecting the worst to happen, because nothing has shown me that it will. I just don’t even know where to begin to explain to someone what’s wrong, because I don’t even fully understand it. I’m just letting my thoughts and insecurities get the best of me right now, and I don’t think I have ever felt so alone as I do right now. 

Goodnight Tumblr, I’m headed to rock bottom (that is as long as there is an end to all of this!)